Saying “I’m Sorry” - Part II

 In the last issue of the Constellation, we discussed saying “I’m sorry” inappropriately, or excessively, when it is not warranted.  In this issue we are going to talk about NOT saying “I’m sorry” when it IS or might be warranted.  We are discussing OUR industry now and saying “I’m sorry” prematurely can be detrimental to our company. The words “I’m sorry” are seen as an admission of guilt.  And knowing whether we did something incorrectly is not something we can know for sure until we are able to research the incident, whatever it is.

In OUR industry (and many others) the appropriate thing to say when someone has a complaint is to show empathy and promise to do something about the problem.  We must be careful NOT to admit guilt because once a client or caller hears, “I’m sorry” they are hearing you admit to being the cause of a problem, and that initial feeling is the one that sticks, even if it is later proven that the service handled everything exactly as the instructions indicated.

For instance, Mr. Customer calls and is very upset, “I just drove an hour out of my way to meet with a client, and he had canceled before I ever left my house!!” He blasts.  “Why wasn’t I called?!” It sure SOUNDS as though the answering service dropped the ball.  HOWEVER, the instructions on this account state very strongly, “ALL messages between the hours of 6:30 AM and 8:30 AM are to be held for the office.”  Oops, sounds like some time in the past this customer had another issue with an early morning call, and set a rule in place that had unintended consequences.  The agent who took this call handled it perfectly.  “Oh my,” she said, “What an unhappy way to start the day.  I will ask my manager to look into this right away.  She will call you later today; should she call the office or your cell?”  

Saying “I’m sorry” when you HAVE done something wrong, that’s different. Say those words with respect as quickly as possible.  We all make mistakes.  We all have things we need to apologize for such as words, actions omissions, failing to step up, step in, show support… whatever, and the sooner we do so the better for all concerned.  As soon as you are aware of the issue, the first thing you should do is to say, “I’m sorry” with sincerity.  Then STOP.  Do NOT add a disclaimer. “I’m sorry, but I was really mad because…”  or “But I DID think that you were….”  And never, never include any statement in any way placing even the smallest amount of blame back on the other person.  When we do something wrong,  we need to apologize.  Just remember that we can’t apologize until we KNOW FOR SURE we did something wrong.

 

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