Anger is Destructive

 T here is an old, old proverb that says,

“He is a fool who cannot be angry; but he is a wise man who will not.”

Anger is the most useless, destructive emotion of all. It consumes our energy, controls our mind and destroys our relationships. We have trouble concentrating on anything else when we are angry. It steals our happiness, it threatens our health, it blurs our judgment - anger can consume us.

When you allow someone’s words or actions to make you angry you have given them control of your mind. Being angry at someone else means they are pulling your strings, you are simply reacting to their tugs, they have become the puppet master and you have become the puppet. Resolve not to give in to feelings of anger, make it your goal to remain positive, to remain in control.

You cannot control the actions of others but you can control your reaction. In truth other people can’t “make” you angry; only you can do that by allowing others to have that power over you. Don’t let anyone have that kind of control over you.

Most of us can identify several conditions that will cause us to become angry. Take the time to isolate those thoughts and conditions that you know will push your hot buttons. If you know you will be angry when someone treats you with disrespect, envision it happening and think of a response that will help you control your thoughts in a positive way. Plan that response beforehand. Practice it. Whether you plan to walk away, or change the subject, or determine a calm reply, try to remember how you are going to react in a different manner rather than becoming angry.

Use every bit of your self-control to overcome the anger you feel. Take yourself out of the situation; occupy your mind with other thoughts. Distract yourself, think about other things. Read, listen to music, watch television, get involved in a game. Do something, do anything, to concentrate on the distraction rather than that which made you angry.

Resist the urge to “vent” to someone else. Anger can be contagious; there is no reason to upset someone else, someone you probably like and care for, in the attempt to release your anger. It won’t achieve your desired affect and will cause distress for them. You are also more likely to increase your own anger in the telling than you are to lessen it.

When you are calmer, ask yourself why you became so enraged by the words or action. Is this something you can discuss with the person who was a part of the incident? Is it something that you can have some control over? Was the incident intentional? Can you avoid it in the future? The more you understand the situation the better you can react the next time something similar happens.

Whatever you do, learn to forgive. Only when you forgive someone can you stop the anger you direct at them. The anger that is hurting you.

Anger is Destructive